Besides the Pig, here come the Chicken!

[Anonymous]

QUESTION: Why did the Chicken cross the road?

TYPICAL ANSWER :
To get to the other side.

Temasek Holdings (Assessment Management Dept :
Deregulation of the chicken’s side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Temasek, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes.Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Temasek helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken’s people, rocesses and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Temasek convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Temasek consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes.The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken’s mission, vision, and core values.This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Temasek helped the chicken change to become more successful.

MOSES (from the bible) :
And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, “Thou shalt cross the road.”And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

FOX MULDER (from the X-Files):
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?

COLONEL SANDERS (Founder of KFC):
You mean I missed one ?

C.I.D (Police):
Give us five minutes with the chicken and we’ll find out.

HOMER SIMPSON (cartoon character):
mmmmmm.. Chicken.

RICHARD M. NIXON USA ex President):
The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road. I don’t know any chickens. I have never known any chickens. What’s a Chicken ?

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. (Freedom fighter for black folks):
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA:
In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. If someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, that was good enough for us.

ARISTOTLE (err…):
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX (err…..):
It was a historical inevitability.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK (Star Trek Captain):
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FREUD (Errr…..):
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the roadreveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES (no need to say):
I have just released Chicken XP, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book, and Explorer is an inextricable part of the operating system.

EINSTEIN (guy with a weird hairdo):
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON (famous for you know what with you know who):
I DID NOT cross the road with THAT chicken.

abductboy (API Ah Kong):
That would be a matter for the chicken. API and the chicken are not part of the same organisation, although we share some ideals in common. If there are presently any chickens in API, we are not aware of it.

China Premier:
We are implacably opposed to the chicken crossing the road until the chicken’s armaments have been removed and the chicken itself declares it’s diabolical intentions.

Mahathir (Malaysia former PM):
On behalf of the people of Malaysia, we reserve the right to defend the roads of the Causeway against the chicken. For 800 years the malaysian People have resisted the imposition of chickens by force of arms and shall continue to do so until the chicken is expelled from our land. Anyone collaborating with the chicken, or assisting or enabling the imposition of road crossing by chickens, will be deemed legitimate targets in our struggle against tyranny.

LTA (Roadworks Division):
We, the loyal defenders of Singapore roads, reserve our right to retaliate against any precipitory hostile actions by the chicken. We shall meet force with deadly force. (A donation to the NKF will ensure free passage of the chicken with respect to the road and the crossing thereof, till the same time next month anyhow. (Do chickens have kneecaps?)

ASEAN Joint statement:
We believe that only by working together in unison, and with the majority of the people of this island, the Commonwealth & the UN governments and our friends overseas behind us, can we find the answer to this question. If we do not, or cannot, then our children will rightfully ask us the question, ‘So why did the chicken cross the road?’

Unknown Spokesperson (Internal Security):
While not normally commenting on security matters, the Government feels it is right and proper, in this instance, to make a statement on this affair. – Members of the Special Air Services involved in a covert anti-terrorist operation on the road at 8:42 this morning observed the chicken attempting to cross the road. As the chicken was approached by one of the soldiers involved, it was seen to make a threatening movement and action was taken to nullify that action. It has not been ascertained why the chicken was crossing the road, and it seems unlikely that we will now discover the motive.

[Anonymous]

u leave me speechless

[Anonymous]

left me speechless too. Liked the USA presidents versions and API versions hehe 😆

[Anonymous]

I personally like the last one on Internal Security

[Anonymous]

and this may be what the World Health Assembly might have for the chicky crossing the road:

“those in favour of the chicken crossing the road and the subsequent resolutions please raise your hands, and results are: 187 countries in favour of the chicken crossing the road, with one vote against by the USA and others in abstension.”

USA’s vote against the chicken crossing the road because huge corporations like the one by uncle Sanders wanted the chicken to join in, continuously bribed to provide its sibblings and children, and grandchildren, and great grand children, to be slaves of the Sanders corporation. USA will get lots of tax money from that. 😛

[Author]

Posts

[Anonymous]

QUESTION: Why did the Chicken cross the road?

TYPICAL ANSWER :
To get to the other side.

Temasek Holdings (Assessment Management Dept :
Deregulation of the chicken’s side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Temasek, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes.Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Temasek helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken’s people, rocesses and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Temasek convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Temasek consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes.The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken’s mission, vision, and core values.This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Temasek helped the chicken change to become more successful.

MOSES (from the bible) :
And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, “Thou shalt cross the road.”And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

FOX MULDER (from the X-Files):
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?

COLONEL SANDERS (Founder of KFC):
You mean I missed one ?

C.I.D (Police):
Give us five minutes with the chicken and we’ll find out.

HOMER SIMPSON (cartoon character):
mmmmmm.. Chicken.

RICHARD M. NIXON USA ex President):
The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road. I don’t know any chickens. I have never known any chickens. What’s a Chicken ?

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. (Freedom fighter for black folks):
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA:
In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. If someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, that was good enough for us.

ARISTOTLE (err…):
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX (err…..):
It was a historical inevitability.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK (Star Trek Captain):
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FREUD (Errr…..):
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the roadreveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES (no need to say):
I have just released Chicken XP, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book, and Explorer is an inextricable part of the operating system.

EINSTEIN (guy with a weird hairdo):
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON (famous for you know what with you know who):
I DID NOT cross the road with THAT chicken.

abductboy (API Ah Kong):
That would be a matter for the chicken. API and the chicken are not part of the same organisation, although we share some ideals in common. If there are presently any chickens in API, we are not aware of it.

China Premier:
We are implacably opposed to the chicken crossing the road until the chicken’s armaments have been removed and the chicken itself declares it’s diabolical intentions.

Mahathir (Malaysia former PM):
On behalf of the people of Malaysia, we reserve the right to defend the roads of the Causeway against the chicken. For 800 years the malaysian People have resisted the imposition of chickens by force of arms and shall continue to do so until the chicken is expelled from our land. Anyone collaborating with the chicken, or assisting or enabling the imposition of road crossing by chickens, will be deemed legitimate targets in our struggle against tyranny.

LTA (Roadworks Division):
We, the loyal defenders of Singapore roads, reserve our right to retaliate against any precipitory hostile actions by the chicken. We shall meet force with deadly force. (A donation to the NKF will ensure free passage of the chicken with respect to the road and the crossing thereof, till the same time next month anyhow. (Do chickens have kneecaps?)

ASEAN Joint statement:
We believe that only by working together in unison, and with the majority of the people of this island, the Commonwealth & the UN governments and our friends overseas behind us, can we find the answer to this question. If we do not, or cannot, then our children will rightfully ask us the question, ‘So why did the chicken cross the road?’

Unknown Spokesperson (Internal Security):
While not normally commenting on security matters, the Government feels it is right and proper, in this instance, to make a statement on this affair. – Members of the Special Air Services involved in a covert anti-terrorist operation on the road at 8:42 this morning observed the chicken attempting to cross the road. As the chicken was approached by one of the soldiers involved, it was seen to make a threatening movement and action was taken to nullify that action. It has not been ascertained why the chicken was crossing the road, and it seems unlikely that we will now discover the motive.

[Anonymous]

u leave me speechless

[Anonymous]

left me speechless too. Liked the USA presidents versions and API versions hehe 😆

[Anonymous]

I personally like the last one on Internal Security

[Anonymous]

and this may be what the World Health Assembly might have for the chicky crossing the road:

“those in favour of the chicken crossing the road and the subsequent resolutions please raise your hands, and results are: 187 countries in favour of the chicken crossing the road, with one vote against by the USA and others in abstension.”

USA’s vote against the chicken crossing the road because huge corporations like the one by uncle Sanders wanted the chicken to join in, continuously bribed to provide its sibblings and children, and grandchildren, and great grand children, to be slaves of the Sanders corporation. USA will get lots of tax money from that. 😛

[Author]

Posts